He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
