I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
