Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
