Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
