Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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