My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
