"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
