don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
