shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
