Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
so much tequila, so little girl.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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