He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
