I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
