nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
