Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
