Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
