I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
