Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
