He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize