Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
