We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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