Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
