I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
