So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize