This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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