my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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