im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
