So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
