Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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