How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
