I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
