sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
