i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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