Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Houston, we have a squirter
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
