All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
