i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
