he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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