It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
