His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
