Porn is love you can see.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Do vagina's smell?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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