A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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