Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
