i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
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