If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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