bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
