He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
