He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I need help removing her.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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