i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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