Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
