This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
