Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
