Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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